December 1, 2009: Invasion of the Toy Snatchers

Hello, lovely friends and patient readers!

I am writing to you from a secret location!


Hint: Where my dog bed ended up during the latest flurry of house-rearranging, i.e. Under the Bassinet (don't want to know what that is for) in the New Office.

I'm hoping to get a few moments of peace down here so I can fill you in on why I've been so tragically absent from the blog lately.  It's because my house has been INVADED!  INVADED, I TELL YOU! 


What have I ever done to deserve this? 

BOTH of my smelly, hyper cousins are here!  Taking over my house!  Rolling on my couch!  Sitting on MY PERSON'S lap!  Whose bright idea was this?  Did anyone ask me MY opinion?  NOOOOOOO.

We are on Day Thirteen of this invasion.  I don't think they're ever leaving!  No matter how many times I run to the door barking, we never seem to find their parents on the other side to take them away!  What is going on?  Why am I being tortured like this?

Here's what I've observed so far...

This is Oliver (the Big One):


Hi!  I'm adorable and hilarious!  I like to sit on people who are sleeping! 

Number of Suspicious Things That Tui Has Had to Fish Out of Oliver's Mouth So Far:
FIFTEEN.  SERIOUSLY.  FIFTEEN.
Including:  (1) Band-Aid, (3) mysterious bits of wood, (3) small plastic things which are no doubt essential to the structural integrity of something important, but which are completely unrecognizable now, and (a bazillion) paper towels.



I definitely did not just eat a Band-Aid.  No sir. 

This is Oliver the way I like him...in his crate, YES PLEASE COULD HE JUST STAY THERE UNTIL THEY'RE GONE?:


Hey, who wants to play football?  Anyone?  Just let me out, I promise I'll let you win!

Most Alarming Things About Oliver:
(1) the "HHGGOORK!" noise he makes every half hour or so, as if he's about to invite something horrifying up out of his guts to share with us.
(2) the strength of the smells he can make.  HOLY BEJEZUS THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT.
(3) the fact that he has no idea what his tail is doing at any given moment, especially when it's whapping me in the head or knocking things off the coffee table.
(4) the way he plays with Maui; namely, by trying to eat his face.  It is loud!  And violent-looking!  And yet Maui keeps going back for more!  He's like a tiny masochist!
(5) his big trampling paws and the way he uses them to trample anything in his path (papers, smaller dogs, baby bumps) without noticing it's there.

Also I may feel a smidge threatened by his doofy cuteness, but you'll never get me to admit it!

This is Maui (the Teeny One):


Hi!  I am also adorable!  And I ALSO like to sleep on people who are sleeping! 

My Favorite Thing About Maui:  He Is Easy to Stand On


Mine!  Haha!  I love dogs who are smaller than me! 

Maui's Favorite Thing to Do:  Chew on Faces/Have His Own Face Chewed On


Your face looks DEEElicious, good sir!
(Sunshine:  Some dogs are SO undignified.)

Not Maui's Favorite Thing to Do:  Have a Bath


ACK WHY why is this happening to ME WHY ACK SAVE ME!
(Sunshine: Hm, yes, I detect a distinct improvement.)



Sad wet puppy face. 
 
You might be wondering what I'm doing in the bath with him.  Well, it just so happens that I like baths!  I jump into the bathtub every chance I get!  I even jumped in once while Tui was in there!  She wasn't tremendously enthused about that.  But usually whoever's in the bath is getting treats, so there was NO WAY I was letting Teeny One get all the treats without being there to supervise (i.e. get my own share!).


Slightly less sad and wet.

Of course, I didn't quite expect this to happen...


Oi!  I'm not the one whose face smelled like it'd been chewed on for two weeks!  The outrage!

However, I was right about the treats (WIN!).  And Maui was vastly improved by the experience.


I am awful handsome, aren't I?

Enough that I even deigned to play with him for a while...



Until Oliver came back and the face-chewing resumed.


Yum, yum, yum, yum...

Yes, it's a travesty.  If you thought YOUR house was invaded by relatives for Thanksgiving, just imagine if they stayed for WEEKS ON END!  And played with your toys all the time!  As if!  And I have no idea when they're going home.  (Or, for that matter, why all the furniture in the house keeps moving around and producing new, much smaller furniture which I don't think I approve of.  This is all very ominous.)

But I guess I have to put up with them for now...as long as they stay on the other side of my person's lap!


Hmph.  Suspicious. 

And it helped me think of two things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving:  (a) that they don't live here all the time, and (b) that nobody would ever dare chew on MY face.  Just you TRY it, busters!

Hope you all had wonderful Thanksgivings and much better-behaved house guests!  :-)

Happy tails,
Sunshine!  :-)